“The Key to Change…Is To Let Go of Fear” – Roseanne Cash
Fear is real, and we all have it at some point or another. Sometimes we’re really clear about where the fear begins, but other times, we have no idea. It’s simply just a feeling that we can’t quite contain. It causes us to make poor decisions, say things that we don’t mean and develop a perspective on life that is tainted.
Fear is a paralyzing emotion. It stops you in your tracks. Fear puts a wall between you and your goals, your loved ones and truly living your life.
So, the question is, “how do you get rid of your fear”. The answer – you don’t. You can’t get rid of fear. It’s like trying to get rid of a part of who you are. However, you can tame it. The key is having awareness that fear is there, but writing a different story around it. It’s awareness that is the key to managing your fear and your reaction to it.
So many people say that F.E.A.R. is False Evidence Appearing Real. I don’t think there is false evidence. There’s our experience of what’s happening and the glasses with which we view it that create our experience of it.
We’re all living in two worlds simultaneously – our inner world and our outer world. Fear is an inner world experience. What has happened to you that is causing your fear? What outcome do you wish wouldn’t happen? What did you see or hear to influence you today?
Some people feel that they have more to gain by holding onto their fear than they do by getting rid of it. I’d propose that there’s no reason to get rid of fear. It’s like getting rid of a part of yourself. No, let’s not get rid of it. Let’s dance with it. I start the dance by asking myself several questions so I can gain perspective and a foothold on my fear:
- What is my state of mind? Am I in the picture or looking at the picture? Where am I?
- When have I felt like this before? What does this remind me of?
- Who am I listening to right now? Is this my inner voice of fear or is this an external person talking to me?
- What’s their story – are they talking to me from their perspective or mine?
- Where/how can I create a safe haven to sit with my fear? How quickly can I do that?
- How can I minimize the impact of this fear right now? How can I create a new landscape for this fear that minimizes it?
The final question is – which fear do you choose? The old landscape or the new one that you’ve created? Fear is simply a question of choice. You can choose when you invite it into your life. You can decide how fear will impact your life. You can determine how you will manage your fear. And always remember, fear is not a jailor — it’s a counselor.
